I heard my heart beating so loud I made a fancy tune to it.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
I was so nervous I can hardly breathe.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The seconds flew so fast I never noticed it was time.
It was time for us to dissect. It was my first time really, since when we were in High school, we never got the chance to dissect. Okay, I was being silly. Dissecting is really an easy thing to do. But it’s not in my case. I’ll confess something. I am so scared of frogs that I’d rather hold an earthworm and eat it than to hold these frogs with my hands. Okay. I may be exaggerating the part of eating earthworms, but I swear, I’m really scared to death when it comes to frogs.
Why am I scared?
It started when we went to a fiesta. Of course everybody was having
their time of their lives eating delectable food. Who wouldn’t? I was so stupid
enough to look at a side covered by bushes. I do not know why I did look there
but that instance changed my life forever. I saw with my freaking eyes a very
big black bullfrog. I thought I was just imagining so I looked again. But my
sight was right. It was as big a shoe! I do not know if I really did see a big
black bullfrog but that scared a hell out of me and ever since that very day, I
already had fear of frogs, even the smallest ones. I am scared even to the
point that I would run away when I hear croaks or I see them wander just a few
feet away from me.
So back to today.
I had my gloves on so I know I would be safe, but I know I’m not safe
for sure. When our teacher said bring your frogs out, I was hesitant at first,
nervous of what might happen if I would hold the frog. I laughed to divert the
teacher’s attention away from me. But it was no use because we were only two
students in class. So, I had no choice. I made the sign of the cross many times
while screaming like a little girl the bad word shit over and over again (it’s kinda contrary because I made the
sign of the cross and I said a bad word. Well, yeah. Whatever.). I took my
deepest breathe ever and closed my eyes. I took that small frog from the
plastic and in no time, I was holding the frog. I had no choice. If I do not
hold it, my grade would be deducted.
The frog was friendly, I tell you. It was quiet and cooperative the
whole time I was holding it and we were discussing. It was also responsive when
I killed him (man that was a harsh
thing to say). I took the skin away from that small green creature. I cut his
chest. I examined his internal organs. It slowly passed away. After studying
it, we put the two frogs on a bottle and poured some formalin on it.
Because of this experiment, I have come to a very big realization.
I am a Biological Sciences major student. I will be a Biology teacher
soon. Yet, I am very afraid of frogs. What will become of me then, since
dissecting frogs is an integral part of second year high school students? Will
I run away from this challenge? You know, after facing that fear of mine, I am
still afraid of frogs. I am still grossed out by these creatures. Will I be an
effective teacher, then? I never liked Zoology in the first place. My teacher
said a while ago, “Remember, you’re going to be a Biology teacher.” Yes. I
know. Maybe I can just do what our Biology teacher when I was a sophomore did:
no DISSECTION. Not even a hint that we will. Or maybe I’ll never be a teacher,
or just shift major. Or maybe I will face my fears. We are both created by God
anyway. Either ways, I’m covered with fear.
It maybe not as worse as fear factor, but at least I accomplished a
great thing today: facing my fear. Even though it’s a small frog, that animal
gave me reason to stand out for a moment. I know I am still scared of frogs,
but hoping in time, I will grow mature and be not scared of frogs.
Sorry for the poor quality of photographs. I just used my phone to take them.
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