My Sophomore Life

This day settles everything. I'm officially a Third Year Student -- well not yet that official since I haven't enrolled yet, but I've officially finished all my Second Year subjects.

So, how was this school year for me?

Well, it was less exciting as compared when I was a Freshman. I had lots of things to do since I belonged to many organizations: The Paulinian, the official publication of the school, Coordinating Board of Students, the student council of the school, Campus Ministry Board of Students, where I was in the Music Ministry, among others. I had to sleep late to finish editing the layout of the school paper, finish the minutes of the meeting, and edit pictures. I had to attend meetings, face people, and act as the leader always. I had to pretend I know all the musical instruments because they had no one to count on to. I had to go on lots of contests and fortunately, I won on majority of them. And that is still under my curricular activities.


Then unto Academics. It was pretty harder than I thought since we already had our major field of specializations this school year. For me, it was Biology. I had fun dealing with the subject I loved but since memorizing was my waterloo, I had a hard time in doing so especially since there are many terms which needs memorization. I had to sleep late drawing the parts of the human body, researching about lichens and stuff, discovering if we could culture carrots or not. I also experienced one of the most embarrassing moments of my life where my shoe was stuck in mud where I tried picking water lilies. It was also my first time holding and dissecting a frog which caused my life so much because I always had fear of frogs. They're gross and creepy. I also dissected a feline together with my groupmates, which was less creepier than the frog. It was really hard for me especially my other classmate who was having regrets of taking such major. In one way, I wish that I just took Math instead of Biology, but since I've started it, let me finish this. And fortunate enough, I still reached the honors, finishing at third spot with an average of 92.38 (excluding the recently concluded Summer Classes).


We lost many from our batch this year alone. From the original 15, now, we're left at 10. Three left for another school, one left for an unknown reason, another one left for a very confidential reason. I'm not into speaking terms with one of my classmates this year -- on and off but now, it's off. The reason is on one of my posts, just guess what that is. But overall, this year was a blast for us. We still are a strong group amid those things.

What else did I miss? Ohh yes. Don't ask me about my lovelife. For the whole year, it was off. The last time my heart beat was when I was first year. This May, it started beating for someone again. And yeah, like any other, for sure this one is going nowhere again. I just can't let it be.

And that settles everything. Goodbye Sophomore Life. Here we go, Junior life. I wonder what awaits me out there.

PC Shutdown

To the LHEPC!

That was my ultimate goal that day of November 25, 2011 when I received my certificate and the medal-which-I-only-used-for-picture-taking-and-returned-afterwards-because-it-is-not-yet-delivered from the person awarding me. I had high hoped that we will go there bravely and face the feat that lies ahead. 

My fellow schoolmate-winners were also as excited as I am, more so with two of my companions because it was supposedly their first time going to such competition -- the Luzonwide Higher Education Press Conference. They were so excited they've already planned on so many things to do during the LHEPC. I, too, was as excited as them because, though I've joined once, the experience is still different with these companions, with the new place, and the new section I am writing at. I was slowly earning some money I've got from generous persons.

We were actually really doing our best to join the competition (actually, I only helped a tiny little bit, considering the fact that I'm a shy person and I can't speak to strangers that much). We even solicited to the highest officials here, but unfortunately, we lost the war. Our solicited money was not even enough to cover all our expenses for the said contest.

We were devastated, but we had nothing to do. We may add from our pockets, but it won't still be enough. So, we planned to withdraw from the competition. As much as we wanted, we can't do anything anymore.

For the coming days, I would just imagine myself in Bataan, giving all out for the competition I was supposed to join to from February 6 to 8. What would just happen if we went there. We might be on a bus now, or a van going to the destination. But uhhm, just my luck.

Well, Press Con shutdown for this school year. Hoping for a great system boot next year.

Dear God -- Divine Intervention

God, this day was euphoric and dysphoric. Ugh. Whatever.


Euphoria.


Today, I joined a quiz bee. Surprising to say, we won first place considering the fact that I only reviewed yesterday night, the questions were all in the dialect, and that it was our Midterms! It was Divine Intervention that led us to accomplish such. First, I only reviewed last night because it was only said to us last Wednesday and I had no chance prepare well, but, well, it was You that led us to victory. Second, all the questions were all in the dialect. I know how to speak our native tongue, but this time, it's quite different because all of the words said were all deep dialects, so deep I almost had nosebleed. But, context clues did it, and You. Third, it was our Midterms, and so I had to prioritize my academics, so I was not into the quiz bee thing. But God, I have a heavy, depressed heart.

Another euphoric thing today was when my brother helped someone with the banking transactions. What would just happen to her if we were not on that bank that very moment of the day? It was a pretty awesome  that he did that out of service. While my brother calls it Serendipity, I call it Divine Intervention -- Your Intervention.

Dysphoria.


I am still disappointed by my standing yesterday God. I did my best memorizing everything, putting all of them in my heart, but only to find out, I still lack a lot of information. I failed to meet my expectations to myself God. I became a fool of myself. Why did it happen? I don't want to destroy my own records. What if it gets destroyed now? Please God, help me find a way. I pray that together, we can finish this together.

I am now having regrets with the major I took up. I know I was always fond of Science as a kid, but now I've realized that it's more difficult than I think it was. If I am only free with my decision, I want to shift my major to the subject which memorization is not at all necessary: MATH. I know back in High School, I almost failed in Math, but it's my only other choice. I do not like Math, but considering a school with only four majors, the two of them are my last resorts (Math and Biology. I do not want and never want English and Filipino). I really do not want my major already God. Imagine, we have eight Science subjects for the next school year. Our teacher is very high and treats us like we're very intelligent and we now everything that simple simple verb mistakes would account for zero score. What should I do God? I'm on this stage of confusion again. What to do? What to do? Please God, give me strength. I need You. I need Your Intervention.

Whatever.


I haven't yet for tomorrow's exams. I am not yet sure what I will take for my lifelong exams. Life is really an exam. Some parts are very easy, and would just require you to think whether it is truthful or not. Life would be sometimes moderate wherein there are more choices and paths to choose from. But life has also these difficult parts wherein, you have to identify the path you are going to take, without any choices whatsoever. Some may be very joyful, while some are worth lamenting. In anyway, I know that I can perfect this test of mine, in whatever possible way. You, my teacher, will always be with me, guiding me in all the possible ways, not letting me get any zero, intervening to every obstacles and things that come my way. In You alone, my Hope is Found. You are my light, my strength, and my song. I love You God.

And yeah, this is my 123th post.

A wrapped up Year end Report

Okay, this year has been a very fruitful one. There has been many euphoric moments as there are also dysphoric moments (let's include the whatever moments. hahaha). Let's wrap up this year 2011 with things to remember for the rest of my goddamn life.

I hope this would become my yearly tradition as I end a year.

Calypso

When I saw her, I remember the lines from my composition. Hahaha. 


i was enticed, hypnotized
when you walked by, i was mesmerized
you were radiant, your mystique
and your aura was so unique

Hahaha. Nevermind.


Well, anyways, a while ago, I went on a choir competition. This time was totally different because I was not a performer, just a mere spectator. It was a rather, unusual thing to just watch the show rather than be in the show. Haha. Nevermind, I wanted to try watching while the choir I was in would perform anyway. It felt different. I lauded when they performed. It was unexplainable. I got goosebumps after they sang their first song. Listening them perform the same song for two years led me to a conclusion that they've grown a lot! (It seems like I'm a critic here already. Well, FREEDOM OF SPEECH! Lol). I remember myself whispering some of the tunes of the song because I don't know the tune. Haha. Yeah.


Their next song was even more outstanding! They performed a christmas song that has been popularized by many many many singers. But theirs was different. It was the calypso version they sang. Yeah. This time, I had chills all around my freaking body especially when they were about to end. If only I can, I could have bowed down in front of them. The were outrageously excellent! Imagine, only high school students as good as those? They can beat the elder groups if they can! Hahaha. 


Well, Expect the expected, they won first prize! Haha. I came to a conclusion here. They won -- when I'm not a part of them. Maybe I'm the bad luck that kept them from losing. Haha. But, you cannot deny the fact that they all grew to be the best choir members and they've developed a lot, so I conclude, I did not bring bad luck to them, they just grew better. Haha.


Well, all I want to say is congratulations and keep up! Hahaha


Well, what's her name? I don't know. I've never seen her before. She was stunning with that red dress. She sang like an angel serenading everyone. Well, nevermind.


I'm sleepy.

An Epic Fail Poem

So, I came across my scratch of the poem I wrote during our press conference held last month. When I read it again, my mind began having it's own battle. One side of my brain says, "it's so good! Why didn't it win?" Another side of my brain said, "It's ugly. It deserves to lose. *evil laugh*" In any way, I felt that the whole world crushed when I was not one of the top 10, but now, I have come to realize that it's not only me who writes poems. Other writers are far more imaginative than I am. I'm just a writer from the waste land of broken dreams. But hey, I write, no one can take that away from me.

So going back to the poem, the task that we did was a Villanelle. I know that's the same format which made me win last year's press conference. Wikipedia cannot specifically define what villanelle is, but he can tell the format.

So, here is my epic fail poem. If you are keen with the poem, then you might get the format of the poem.


To the Unborn


I haven't even heard him sing
nor talk nor walk independently
he lost his life from the beginning.

His father left this poor young thing
his mother was lost, doing things foolishly
I haven't even heard him sing.

To the witch he went, she's pretty much regretting
the witch cried out, and took him out carelessly
he lost his life from the beginning.

He hasn't even seen the world rejoicing
he hasn't felt the love of a family
I haven't even heard him sing.

We all need to stop this event from happening
he, and all the young souls need to live happily
he lost his life from the beginning.

Don't kill them while they're inside agrowing
they need to experience living freely
I haven't even heard him sing
he lost his life from the beginning.


I know it sucks. Haha. But I did my best, so I still consider it a work of art. So, what'd you think?

Dear God -- The Post Conference

11 awards.

10 trophies.

4 medals.

Countless certificates.

Countless photos.

Countless memories.

November 23-25, 2011, I’ll never forget you. My time was spent with much fun, much wit, much sweat, and laughs. Of course, that was not the main reason for me going there, but, those will be the things I will remember as I age.

In this post, I will include Dear God, a segment which I’m talking to God.

Dear God. Thank You for all the blessings that You have showered for us. Imagine, all of us garnered at least one award with four going to the next level, and Lord God, we were able to beat other schools and placed 8^th over-all!! Whoa. It’s something I’m proud off. Two were first timers, and they’re going to the next level, our chief goes too, and me, even though I only had one award, I’m going too, and that is one thing I’m going to prioritize. It’s not my forte, but I’m going to practice it. My parents’ money paid off. Nobody went home empty-handed.

Thank You also for giving me the very good company. I enjoyed it better than any other press conference that I had since Grade School. We became brothers and sisters who were sleeping together, playing together, singing together, being CSI agents together, and traveling together. I mean, for that merely 2 days of being together as a group, it felt like a month or two. It was more than a contest for me. Thank You God.

Room 316. I’ll never forget this room. A very mysterious, cryptic, mystifying room which left all of us astounded. I’m making a fictional story about that incident which happened. I may be deviating from the original story, but hey, I want to make it creepier. Haha. Imagine, a room with the sound of the television. We were knocking and shouting, but no one dared to open. Due to this, the managers and some security guards came and confronted us because they were guests. Haha. Total humiliation.

To the LHEPC! Okay, so we need Php40,000 so that we could go to the contest. Hoping to God we can gather that amount.

November 23-25, 2011, I'll never forget you.

11 awards.

10 trophies.

4 medals.

Countless certificates.

Countless photos.

Countless memories.

Dear God

It's already done. I'm through with all the contests. However, I am not that sure if I will accomplish that much. My mind is not sure but my heart says I did win on all of my contests. My heart says You guided me through all my contests.

Also, I want to payback that large amount of money my parents gave to me just so we could get here. I don't want to waste that money away. God. Whatever the results of these events which we will know tomorrow, I offer everything to You. I love You and in You alone my Hope is found.

God, please also guide my fellow schoolmates who competed in their respective contests. I know it's over but if there is still a way, please. I know we could do this with You,God.

Please also guide as our school paper reaches the top. You know a lot that it was a product of countless sweat and blood and tears.

In the end, whatever happens, never forget that I will always love You no matter what, God.

11.11.11

It was the 11th day of the 11th month the 11th year of the 2nd millennium. Some things happened this day, some things extra ordinary, some things useless, somethings memorable, some things epic fail.

I saw four cute kittens inside a cabinet in our laboratory. I was deeply moved by their pitiful blue eyes and their soft meows. Their mother can't be found. Trapped inside the cabinet, they must not have eaten for days. These cats were able to walk for the first time considering their feeble feet. They meowed a lot. They were hungry, I thought, but I could not do anything. As much as I wanted to adopt them, I can't. I already have Max and Michelle with us. What more if I add four. Then, our house would be a stinking disaster. I let a classmate of mine adopt two. I'm not quite sure if she did it. Gosh. Where might be their mother? What will happen to them? It's not good to see little kittens die. Such disgrace.

So today, we had our show choir contest today. It was nothing special I suppose because we just had our practice for about less than twenty-four hours (divided into four days - 1 hour for the first day, 2 hours for the second day, 3 hours for the third day, and 8 hours for the fourth day - approximately 11 hours). I was when we competed that our group was only the one which did a real show choir (like Glee). I mean, Mamma Mia! the others had overly produced props and a dozen of costumes changes. Their dances were very extreme and their songs -- not really show choir type. Well, we lost the competition but hey, we struggled a lot. It was my first time to be in a show choir wherein you sing and you dance. But what really let us struggle was, we forgot some of the lyrics. Haha. Unlucky us. We did not reach the top or even the 2nd top, however, take note, it was the Grand Finals. I know I was just a replacement but that was something to be proud of for a lifetime. Yehp. I now know how Finn and the rest of the New Directions fill when they first joined the sectionals.

What else is memorable this day?

Silence sat beside me again a while ago. While the rest of the group was busy putting make-up (I don't like them placing make-ups. I find it irritating.), I was outside the room, in a dark corridor I sat in solitude, as Silence talked to me. The room was noisy, but I never felt Noise since I was out of the room. The sky was starry as Silence and I had our conversation. It was a pretty solitary sight. "You're very quiet," said a companion of mine when she went out of the room. I just smiled. As much as I want to reply to her, Silence forbade me to. The sky was very beautiful that I want to look at it forever. Silence just smiled at me as we both gazed at the night sky. Silence left me when it was the time for us to leave for the competition. That was  another time when we met. It was a long time since we last met.

So much for 11.11.11. I know, we will never meet again. Goodbye.