Dear God

I am worried
I feel weak
"what if?"
I ask myself.

I don't blame You
I don't blame myself either
"what if?"
I ask myself

I don't want to fall
I don't want to fall
"what if?"
I ask myself.

Hug me tight
feel my pain
"what if?"
I ask myself.

Hold me close
if there can be miracles
"what if?"
I ask myself.

I'm so lonesome
I could cry
"what if?"
I ask myself.

Oh God, if there's a way
please make everything okay
"what if?"
I ask myself.

I am worried
I feel weak
"what if?"
I ask myself.

Dear God -- Divine Intervention

God, this day was euphoric and dysphoric. Ugh. Whatever.


Euphoria.


Today, I joined a quiz bee. Surprising to say, we won first place considering the fact that I only reviewed yesterday night, the questions were all in the dialect, and that it was our Midterms! It was Divine Intervention that led us to accomplish such. First, I only reviewed last night because it was only said to us last Wednesday and I had no chance prepare well, but, well, it was You that led us to victory. Second, all the questions were all in the dialect. I know how to speak our native tongue, but this time, it's quite different because all of the words said were all deep dialects, so deep I almost had nosebleed. But, context clues did it, and You. Third, it was our Midterms, and so I had to prioritize my academics, so I was not into the quiz bee thing. But God, I have a heavy, depressed heart.

Another euphoric thing today was when my brother helped someone with the banking transactions. What would just happen to her if we were not on that bank that very moment of the day? It was a pretty awesome  that he did that out of service. While my brother calls it Serendipity, I call it Divine Intervention -- Your Intervention.

Dysphoria.


I am still disappointed by my standing yesterday God. I did my best memorizing everything, putting all of them in my heart, but only to find out, I still lack a lot of information. I failed to meet my expectations to myself God. I became a fool of myself. Why did it happen? I don't want to destroy my own records. What if it gets destroyed now? Please God, help me find a way. I pray that together, we can finish this together.

I am now having regrets with the major I took up. I know I was always fond of Science as a kid, but now I've realized that it's more difficult than I think it was. If I am only free with my decision, I want to shift my major to the subject which memorization is not at all necessary: MATH. I know back in High School, I almost failed in Math, but it's my only other choice. I do not like Math, but considering a school with only four majors, the two of them are my last resorts (Math and Biology. I do not want and never want English and Filipino). I really do not want my major already God. Imagine, we have eight Science subjects for the next school year. Our teacher is very high and treats us like we're very intelligent and we now everything that simple simple verb mistakes would account for zero score. What should I do God? I'm on this stage of confusion again. What to do? What to do? Please God, give me strength. I need You. I need Your Intervention.

Whatever.


I haven't yet for tomorrow's exams. I am not yet sure what I will take for my lifelong exams. Life is really an exam. Some parts are very easy, and would just require you to think whether it is truthful or not. Life would be sometimes moderate wherein there are more choices and paths to choose from. But life has also these difficult parts wherein, you have to identify the path you are going to take, without any choices whatsoever. Some may be very joyful, while some are worth lamenting. In anyway, I know that I can perfect this test of mine, in whatever possible way. You, my teacher, will always be with me, guiding me in all the possible ways, not letting me get any zero, intervening to every obstacles and things that come my way. In You alone, my Hope is Found. You are my light, my strength, and my song. I love You God.

And yeah, this is my 123th post.

Dear God -- The Post Conference

11 awards.

10 trophies.

4 medals.

Countless certificates.

Countless photos.

Countless memories.

November 23-25, 2011, I’ll never forget you. My time was spent with much fun, much wit, much sweat, and laughs. Of course, that was not the main reason for me going there, but, those will be the things I will remember as I age.

In this post, I will include Dear God, a segment which I’m talking to God.

Dear God. Thank You for all the blessings that You have showered for us. Imagine, all of us garnered at least one award with four going to the next level, and Lord God, we were able to beat other schools and placed 8^th over-all!! Whoa. It’s something I’m proud off. Two were first timers, and they’re going to the next level, our chief goes too, and me, even though I only had one award, I’m going too, and that is one thing I’m going to prioritize. It’s not my forte, but I’m going to practice it. My parents’ money paid off. Nobody went home empty-handed.

Thank You also for giving me the very good company. I enjoyed it better than any other press conference that I had since Grade School. We became brothers and sisters who were sleeping together, playing together, singing together, being CSI agents together, and traveling together. I mean, for that merely 2 days of being together as a group, it felt like a month or two. It was more than a contest for me. Thank You God.

Room 316. I’ll never forget this room. A very mysterious, cryptic, mystifying room which left all of us astounded. I’m making a fictional story about that incident which happened. I may be deviating from the original story, but hey, I want to make it creepier. Haha. Imagine, a room with the sound of the television. We were knocking and shouting, but no one dared to open. Due to this, the managers and some security guards came and confronted us because they were guests. Haha. Total humiliation.

To the LHEPC! Okay, so we need Php40,000 so that we could go to the contest. Hoping to God we can gather that amount.

November 23-25, 2011, I'll never forget you.

11 awards.

10 trophies.

4 medals.

Countless certificates.

Countless photos.

Countless memories.

Dear God

It's already done. I'm through with all the contests. However, I am not that sure if I will accomplish that much. My mind is not sure but my heart says I did win on all of my contests. My heart says You guided me through all my contests.

Also, I want to payback that large amount of money my parents gave to me just so we could get here. I don't want to waste that money away. God. Whatever the results of these events which we will know tomorrow, I offer everything to You. I love You and in You alone my Hope is found.

God, please also guide my fellow schoolmates who competed in their respective contests. I know it's over but if there is still a way, please. I know we could do this with You,God.

Please also guide as our school paper reaches the top. You know a lot that it was a product of countless sweat and blood and tears.

In the end, whatever happens, never forget that I will always love You no matter what, God.

Dear God

So I learned about the news. Maybe it's too late to post this here but I know I've already said this to You many times when I talk to You at night. I made it God! We made it. I got the grade that I was longing for. I got positive news all over my head, and now, all I'm thinking of is how to thank You Lord for this thing. I am in a state called Euphoria. God, I really really love You. 

Now a bigger challenge is ahead of me, God. I need this thing to be perfect. We can do this together God. In You alone my Hope is Found. You are my light, my strength, my song. I love You God.

Dear God

I am still swelling. I still don't know what to do God. Each day when I wake up, I wished that I returned to October 5, 2011. That was day before all of it happened. I lost focus. I lost mind-set. I lost my notes. That's why I got those. But, it was not entirely my fault God. I do blame myself, but not 100%. I don't want to speak more for this is a public site but God, You know my thoughts. Please enlighten each of our minds so that we can make things right. Please help us discern to the right path to go, and the right thing to give. And this might sound very surreal and impossible. But, please God. Please rewind the time, so that I could make things right again. May they give me the ting that I'm hoping. I don't have a face to show anymore God if this does not happen. I might disappear like an extinct species. God. Please. I love You.

I can barely breathe right now. My emotions are flowing intensely. And my chest is heavy. I smile but I'm thinking of that thing that might destroy me for good. In You alone God, my hope is found. :D

Dear God

I am so nervous.


I don't know what to say, or what to do. I am still depressed on the score I got. I know I reviewed well, but still, I got the rating. I know it's the exams so I expect that it will also be reflected on my final grade. God, please, if you could give me a miracle. I badly need it. I really really need that miracle. I know it sounds absurd, but please, give me a miracle.

You know that I love you so much. This is only one of my greatest plea to You God. I am crying inside my heart. Please God.

I love You.

Thank You.

Dear God

Another segment. :D


These posts will be my personal words to God. He hears me all the time. I may write informally because God understands us whatever we may say. I prefer spontaneous ones.

My first post is today or tomorrow.