Dear God -- Divine Intervention

God, this day was euphoric and dysphoric. Ugh. Whatever.


Euphoria.


Today, I joined a quiz bee. Surprising to say, we won first place considering the fact that I only reviewed yesterday night, the questions were all in the dialect, and that it was our Midterms! It was Divine Intervention that led us to accomplish such. First, I only reviewed last night because it was only said to us last Wednesday and I had no chance prepare well, but, well, it was You that led us to victory. Second, all the questions were all in the dialect. I know how to speak our native tongue, but this time, it's quite different because all of the words said were all deep dialects, so deep I almost had nosebleed. But, context clues did it, and You. Third, it was our Midterms, and so I had to prioritize my academics, so I was not into the quiz bee thing. But God, I have a heavy, depressed heart.

Another euphoric thing today was when my brother helped someone with the banking transactions. What would just happen to her if we were not on that bank that very moment of the day? It was a pretty awesome  that he did that out of service. While my brother calls it Serendipity, I call it Divine Intervention -- Your Intervention.

Dysphoria.


I am still disappointed by my standing yesterday God. I did my best memorizing everything, putting all of them in my heart, but only to find out, I still lack a lot of information. I failed to meet my expectations to myself God. I became a fool of myself. Why did it happen? I don't want to destroy my own records. What if it gets destroyed now? Please God, help me find a way. I pray that together, we can finish this together.

I am now having regrets with the major I took up. I know I was always fond of Science as a kid, but now I've realized that it's more difficult than I think it was. If I am only free with my decision, I want to shift my major to the subject which memorization is not at all necessary: MATH. I know back in High School, I almost failed in Math, but it's my only other choice. I do not like Math, but considering a school with only four majors, the two of them are my last resorts (Math and Biology. I do not want and never want English and Filipino). I really do not want my major already God. Imagine, we have eight Science subjects for the next school year. Our teacher is very high and treats us like we're very intelligent and we now everything that simple simple verb mistakes would account for zero score. What should I do God? I'm on this stage of confusion again. What to do? What to do? Please God, give me strength. I need You. I need Your Intervention.

Whatever.


I haven't yet for tomorrow's exams. I am not yet sure what I will take for my lifelong exams. Life is really an exam. Some parts are very easy, and would just require you to think whether it is truthful or not. Life would be sometimes moderate wherein there are more choices and paths to choose from. But life has also these difficult parts wherein, you have to identify the path you are going to take, without any choices whatsoever. Some may be very joyful, while some are worth lamenting. In anyway, I know that I can perfect this test of mine, in whatever possible way. You, my teacher, will always be with me, guiding me in all the possible ways, not letting me get any zero, intervening to every obstacles and things that come my way. In You alone, my Hope is Found. You are my light, my strength, and my song. I love You God.

And yeah, this is my 123th post.