A wrapped up Year end Report

Okay, this year has been a very fruitful one. There has been many euphoric moments as there are also dysphoric moments (let's include the whatever moments. hahaha). Let's wrap up this year 2011 with things to remember for the rest of my goddamn life.

I hope this would become my yearly tradition as I end a year.

23 Pesos

This day is definitely a holiday.

Yeah.

More than a Child

So I learned a very magical song. It's not like any Christmas songs out there. The tune is very heartwarming and very gentle, soothing to the ears and to the mind. The lyrics are, as the composer said, about Jesus' birth in relation to the reason He came. Ever since I've heard it when we had our practice, I was like mesmerized by it so I actually searched it on YouTube and found one video with the composer singing it. Great! Tis' my favorite Christmas song already and since today is Christmas, I thought of sharing this song.

That video is Larry Holder singing More than a Child, the title of the song. Listen to it carefully and be amazed! Here are the lyrics:

More than a child born in the hay,

Jesus, my Lord, on that first Christmas day.

More than the son of a carpenter man;

You carried the weight of the world in Your hand.

For You are the Hope of my soul,

All that I see, and all that I know.

In You, there is peace in my life,

For one day You came, as angels proclaimed,

The Light of the world for us all!

More than a star shining that night,

More than the shepherds amazed by the sight,

More than three wise men with riches of gold;

You, the Messiah, the prophets foretold

Would come, bringing newness and life,

Freedom from sin, deliv'rance from strife.

In You, there is peace evermore,

For one day You came, as angels proclaimed,

The Light of the world for us all.

Yes, one day You came, as angels proclaimed,

Redeemer and Lord of us all!

Hey, Merry Christmas by the way.

Let us not forget the sole reason why we celebrate Christmas: JESUS.  As John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Jesus was sent to us because God loves us really much and He wants us to be saved from the wrath of evil. And so He was born, in a lowly manger. And as John 1:14 says, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." 

This day must not be used for enjoyment but in celebrating for God's love and for Christ's birth.

Merry Christmas once again!

wuh--wait.

Okay. Okay.

Before I'm off to dream land, I just want to say HAPPY 2nd FOUNDING DAY to our pet MICHELLE! It has been two years of -- err -- meows. Hahaha. I can't remember the time when we first got to acquaint with HIM, but, okay, I hope he'll stay here more.

I do not know the exact birthday of him but all I know is that, he's already quite grown up when he first set his feet to us. Maybe one month old already? I don't know. Haha.

Back to December

I always hated this song. I don't know why, but I never really had this liking for this Taylor Swift song. While it is true that I am a fan of Taylor Swift, this song was never in my playlist. When it's going to be played anywhere, I would either change the song, the channel, or go somewhere wherein this music would not be played. Maybe because I was not used to listening Taylor Swift that way or maybe because it was not December when it was released as a single.

But when I got the chance to read the lyrics of the song, I grew to like it to the point that I started singing it almost always. What struck me most first was the chorus which says:

This is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night and I go back to December all the time.

It was LEGEN--wait for it---DARY!

And there goes that catchy intro which me and my siblings can't get enough of. And so, here I am, blogging about my new craving. I maybe too late to say this, but, I'm a big fan of this American comedy series called, How I Met Your Mother.

Yesterday, my brother and I finished watching the first of 8 seasons. So, we were stuck in front of my laptop, watching 5 people go on to their lives like normal Americans do, and they would make the viewers die of laughter with their crazy antics and dialogues. It was like a drug that I was instantly hooked up and wanting more. I know the first season was during 2005. Hell, I was in grade 6 then. I don't know this yet. 

More than Christmas Programs

So I just came from two Christmas Programs today. One was the our departmental Christmas Program and the other one was the FamJam. So, okay, like any other Christmas Programs and Parties, we would all have the chance to enjoy, to play, to be happy, to exchange gifts, and dress like freaks. Of course, as a requirement for the signing of clearance, I had to attend both of them. To enjoy these, we had to pay more than Php300 for the consumption of both.

Forever a-Quote

I have a plan to create another blog. It's not another personal blog like this one where I will be writing anything under the sun. I will be posting some quotes I have collected. Actually, I am a quote collector albeit I am not that avid one who has thousands. To date, I have about 150 quotes, which I got from reading books, watching movies, listening to lectures, reading stories, etc. I have been into this business for about three years already. I know, I am a slow one. It's hard collecting quotes, you know. You need sharp hearing skills or that precious quotation will be lost forever. Haha. Good thing books are printed, so I could always peek at them when I rewrite them.


I actually have a notebook with all the quotes that I have collected. I think I have occupied a small number of pages. Hey, 150 quotes will not reach 50 pages of a notebook. Haha. But seriously, I do have.


I plan to make that blog by next year, since I'm a little busy this year with all those Christmas parties and extravaganzas going on. Well, for a start, here's one I got from the series, How I met Your Mother which I just watched a while ago:

"so that's the upside of hurt. sometimes they happen for a reason." Ted Mosby (How I met Your Mother)

I really did watch that show a while ago. I'm not a worthless cheater who would just get quotes from quote books or from the internet. I'm only cheating myself. And who knows? I may have a thousand of quotes in due time. Haha.

Love is...

being able to help other people without any exchange of money.


So yesterday I made history. In my own history book, of course.

So let me tell you a secret. In my 11 years of stay in my school, It was my first time to attend a rummage sale.  To define simply a rummage sale, it's when we sell our collected goods from It was exhilarating and very tiring. It was very unexplainable.

So this is how it went. All the collected goods were put in a place. Then, those from our adopted barangays would be given free stubs. They would spend those stubs in buying those goods appropriately. Php20 for 10 dresses, Php40 for dry goods, Php40 for rice, and I don't know how much the toys are. Of course, it was very fun to sell and to help them carry those heavy loads they had. I laughed watching some -- err -- volunteers selling the goods to them, especially at the clothes section. I tell you, they are better than some store salesladies. They can convince the buyers to buy the clothes they are holding. On the toys section part, the volunteers are those looking for toys to be given to the buyers. On the food goods and rice, we were the ones to carry them to their places -- considering the fact that majority of them are old people.

It's very fulfilling to help other people. This happy feeling of helping people is better than having been payed with money. I never needed money in exchange for volunteerism. I never needed requirements to go. It is because, some of the "volunteers" went there because of requirements. Me? NO! I came because of freewill and because of my deep intention to help. I did not give during the Christmas Drive, so this is my way to give back. Hey, it's not about the points that count anyway. Haha. next year, I'm certainly going to join again.

The Avengers

The Avengers. I'm so mindfucked right now. Haha. I don't know what mindfuck means, but when I'll do, I know I'm really mindfucked right now. Haha. Anyways, I came across a piture from 9gag. At first, I thought, "Please, Photoshop LVL 100." But, then, I was kind of convinced that it was true. So, I checked Google out. And so I was wrong. I was stunned by the big names and familiar superheroes that flashed before me.

Okay.


Ironman.

Incredible Hulk.

Captain America. (Though I've never watched the movie yet, I've watched the cartoons of this before.)

Thor. (Never watched it, but familiar with it.)

SCARLETT JOHANSSON! as Black Widow.

COBIE SMULDERS aka Robin Scherbatsky on How I met your Mother as Maria Hill.

Samuel L. Jackson.


Okay!

A star-studded, hero-loaded, fight-bombarded, and plot-charged film. I'm so watching this next year! I'll do every possible mean to watch this. If I don't forget to watch this film, I'm so gonna kill myself. Okay, not literally. HAha.

What to expect from this film?

I think it's gonna be finished with many question marks on my face. Why? Because of the number of main characters with different characteristics and storylines, there would be some lapses and unended plots. I mean, so, they live on other cities and they would immediately meet on one place and would fight together? Haha. How would that be enough for 1hour and 50 minutes? Hello?

Okay, it's too early to judge. I'm fucking excited! :D

Calypso

When I saw her, I remember the lines from my composition. Hahaha. 


i was enticed, hypnotized
when you walked by, i was mesmerized
you were radiant, your mystique
and your aura was so unique

Hahaha. Nevermind.


Well, anyways, a while ago, I went on a choir competition. This time was totally different because I was not a performer, just a mere spectator. It was a rather, unusual thing to just watch the show rather than be in the show. Haha. Nevermind, I wanted to try watching while the choir I was in would perform anyway. It felt different. I lauded when they performed. It was unexplainable. I got goosebumps after they sang their first song. Listening them perform the same song for two years led me to a conclusion that they've grown a lot! (It seems like I'm a critic here already. Well, FREEDOM OF SPEECH! Lol). I remember myself whispering some of the tunes of the song because I don't know the tune. Haha. Yeah.


Their next song was even more outstanding! They performed a christmas song that has been popularized by many many many singers. But theirs was different. It was the calypso version they sang. Yeah. This time, I had chills all around my freaking body especially when they were about to end. If only I can, I could have bowed down in front of them. The were outrageously excellent! Imagine, only high school students as good as those? They can beat the elder groups if they can! Hahaha. 


Well, Expect the expected, they won first prize! Haha. I came to a conclusion here. They won -- when I'm not a part of them. Maybe I'm the bad luck that kept them from losing. Haha. But, you cannot deny the fact that they all grew to be the best choir members and they've developed a lot, so I conclude, I did not bring bad luck to them, they just grew better. Haha.


Well, all I want to say is congratulations and keep up! Hahaha


Well, what's her name? I don't know. I've never seen her before. She was stunning with that red dress. She sang like an angel serenading everyone. Well, nevermind.


I'm sleepy.

An Epic Fail Poem

So, I came across my scratch of the poem I wrote during our press conference held last month. When I read it again, my mind began having it's own battle. One side of my brain says, "it's so good! Why didn't it win?" Another side of my brain said, "It's ugly. It deserves to lose. *evil laugh*" In any way, I felt that the whole world crushed when I was not one of the top 10, but now, I have come to realize that it's not only me who writes poems. Other writers are far more imaginative than I am. I'm just a writer from the waste land of broken dreams. But hey, I write, no one can take that away from me.

So going back to the poem, the task that we did was a Villanelle. I know that's the same format which made me win last year's press conference. Wikipedia cannot specifically define what villanelle is, but he can tell the format.

So, here is my epic fail poem. If you are keen with the poem, then you might get the format of the poem.


To the Unborn


I haven't even heard him sing
nor talk nor walk independently
he lost his life from the beginning.

His father left this poor young thing
his mother was lost, doing things foolishly
I haven't even heard him sing.

To the witch he went, she's pretty much regretting
the witch cried out, and took him out carelessly
he lost his life from the beginning.

He hasn't even seen the world rejoicing
he hasn't felt the love of a family
I haven't even heard him sing.

We all need to stop this event from happening
he, and all the young souls need to live happily
he lost his life from the beginning.

Don't kill them while they're inside agrowing
they need to experience living freely
I haven't even heard him sing
he lost his life from the beginning.


I know it sucks. Haha. But I did my best, so I still consider it a work of art. So, what'd you think?

Just Random Poems

Different poems. Yeah, I'm bored.




you run away, i run aground
the tunnels are creating a horrible sound
and when the yellow ribbons fall down
they make me weak, i'm caving in.
can you give me the medicine?
i already am to frown.
my brain seems to be malfunctioning
it aches so much, i'm dying!
please bring me a health clown.


***


are you the fluffy pokemon?
that brilliant nightingale astounding pokemon?
that pink fat pokemon?
that green-eyed smiling pokemon?
that easily-tempered pokemon?
that singer with marker pen pokemon?
that writing on faces pokemon?
that vandalizing pokemon?
that okay-i-don't-care-what-this guy-says pokemon?
that okay-i-don't-care-who-this-person-is-so-i'm-just-gonna-write-on-his-face pokemon?
okay, get a life! :D

MAXimum power!

I almost forgot. Today, we celebrate at home the 1st birthday -- err -- I mean, founding day of our pet, Max. He was adopted by our father last year when this little cat was about to be bumped by cars. He was skinny and feeble then. I don't know what's got into my father. He picked Max up and took it home. Now, after a year of crazy antics and broken glasses, we celebrate his awesomeness, his cute eyes, his despicable attitude, his meows, and all things about him. Yeah, it was not much of a celebration, but hey, it's a blessing that he's here!

Picture of Max when he was about two weeks old.

Yeah! Maximum power!

The Joys and Pains of One Man

And for my 90^th post, I’ll write a joyful one. Well, probably not.

I had a crush which may call Gaudete(It’s funny because yesterday was Gaudete Sunday – the Third Sunday of Advent). I stopped crushing on her for some reasons which I don’t even know. But, I tell you, she’s not the most beautiful girl in the world. She don’t have the most perfect hair, nor sense of fashion, but, I fell in love with her because of her simplicity and her nice personality.

I can still remember the moment when she became my crush.

I was in this group when I was in Grade 6. We were a bunch of weirdoes planning for Christmas parties and stuff for the school. Well, not much of weirdoes because we were all class officers at that. It was one hot afternoon when we got tired planning for that silly half-day event that one of my friends decided that we will play a game. In my mind, I thought of games where we would run and hide, or fight with pillows, or dance to the beat of the music. But it was not. She closed the lights and the room was dim. She assembled us all to form a circle. Wait, it’s not what it’s supposed to be. Well, it is. We were to play the classic game, “Truth or Dare.” Believe me, it was my first time playing that game then.

Her name, music to my ears.

And so we all sat down. It was a fresh start. I had all the laughs and jeers until the bottle pointed straight to me. Well, I was shocked for a moment. Why me? I thought myself. Well, Obviously, I can never escape the wrath of that bottle because I was part of the game, of course. If you ask if I chose truth or dare, I would always answer TRUTH, up to now. I never ever answered DARE yet, and never will I. *evil laugh* So, my classmate asked me that question that changed my life forever, “Who is your crush?”

I was silent for a moment. I don’t know who to answer. The truth is, I never had a crush that time yet. In my mind, all I was thinking of are games, and food, and games, and school… and games. I thought very deep for an answer, but when I wanted to give up, they tried to punish me by squeezing both of my hands. That hurts, you know! Haha. I thought very, very deep. Who is the most beautiful girl in our batch? Hmmm? Wait, I’ll just say, “Gaudete!” I answered. All of them smiled at me. I swear to God that I had no feelings for her that day, but I just said it.

The next questions just got worse.

For grade 6 pupils, those questions were really out of the box. They would ask, “if she was a thing in your bedroom, what would it be?” Others would answer pillow, or blanket, or whatever. I can’t remember my answer already. Hah. Hah. It’s more than 5 years ago!

The Virgin

On this day, ohh Beautiful Mother, on this Day, we give thee our lives.

December 8 is chosen as the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. 


According to Wikipedia,the Immaculate Conception of Mary is a dogma of the Roman Catholic Church, according to which the Virgin Mary was conceived without any stain of original sin.


The solemnity is celebrated on December 8 and is one of the mandatory days outside the Sunday masses wherein Catholics are obliged to attend mass.


At school, we took part in the celebration of the day. We had our school mass. I knew from the start that it was going to be a normal mass. From the readings, to the offertory, to the communion. However, what was extraordinary during the mass was when we sang one of the communion songs. We were singing that song with all our hearts, but then, when that line was sung by us, it was as if, it hit me like an arrow. Some tears covered my eyes. It never fell down, because I stopped it from rolling. I know I've sang this song like a million times already, but it was only that time that I was deeply moved by the song, so much that it left me teary eyed. I love the Lord, it said repeatedly on all verses. 



I wanted to let them repeat this song again, but it they didn't. After all, if they did, I might be crying in front of the microphone already, and be embarrassed in front of thousands of students waiting in line to receive Jesus Christ through the host. Well, I could listen to it all the time, though.


I just love the Lord.


Well, after that mass, we had our group sharing of what and how our Church looks like and what our role is for the Church. There plenty of sharings. It was a pretty boring discussion and we're so glad that it finished fast. I might have taken a slumber if it went on slower than usual. Hah. Hah. 

In celebration of the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, we had a chance to watch one of the greatest love stories ever told and was portrayed in a movie. The Nativity Story is one heck of a movie to cherish forever. Majority of those were not in the Bible, however, it was very realistic which makes me think that it's a pretty accurate to what really happened. 


I was struck by the Nativity Scene wherein Joseph was the one who helped Mary deliver the baby Jesus. It was very heartwarming. Hah. Hah. I was also amazed by how the three magi computed for the exact time for the star. Everything was very good! I can't find any wrong on the show. 


I was disappointed by the tomato meter of this. It's just 38%! Gosh. I can't believe it. Ohh, well, it's they're own opinion of the movie. If I were to rate this movie, it would be 89%.


After watching the movie, we had our living rosary, the twisted way.


Instead of the usual, Holy Mary, we twisted it in a way that we pray for each country. For example, we would say, "Holy Mary, Queen of Virgins, pray for Canada, now and at the hour of our death, Amen." Isn't that nice? Pray for 50 countries around the world with Mary as the one we pray for. 


On this day, I would like to pause for a while and thank Mary for being so humble and obedient. She serves as an example for all of us. I would like to thank Mary for bearing Jesus Christ. It caused our salvation. I thank Mary for being a good wife to Joseph and being with him during those times. She's the first woman I have ever loved. Who knew what have happened to us without Mary, the Mother of God.

The Dialect Dilemma

You know what’s hard? It’s not carrying your another person and lifting her five feet above the ground. It’s not even taking up an entrance exam for College. It’s when you are very fluent in speaking your own dialect, but when it’s already difficult reading it. That’s hard.

Just a little a while ago, I had a sudden burden up on my shoulders. It was a rather boring Wednesday morning when I was suddenly pulled out from playing Feeding Frenzy. Who knew this could waste my time. I never knew where I was going. I was too innocent to know. Hah! Hah! What I didn’t realize is that I was about to embark to something I cannot back out. The people kept coming into that office as I sat and stare as one scary white lady spoke various things in front of us. I was like, “Okay. Why am I here?” Well, tomorrow’s the Solemnity of Immaculate Conception and that what they were planning about. I just sat there and waited for the meeting to finish. I went outside that room with only 19% knowledge of what I’m going to do. Hah! Hah! That’s not the worst part.

After one hour, we were given those pieces of paper which we are going to relate tomorrow during the group sharing. Okay. I did not read it at first. But when night came and I started reading them, damn it was so hard! I speak the dialect, but it’s so damn hard reading it, aloud! I would laugh at myself for being like that, but what else can I do? I grew up in a Filipino and English speaking school. I grew up barely speaking in the dialect. If we are to make a bar on my usage of my language and the dialect, the Filipino language would be higher than my Ilocano dialect. I can’t deny that fact. I would put the emphasis of the words on different syllables until I get the correct one. I don’t even know the definition of some of the words. Hah! Hah!

I read the small piece of booklet for about two hours aloud – with intervals of course because I was watching New Girl and Glee – and when I finished reading it, I was like, “Huh?” I only understood a little part of it. Okay, never mind the drama. Okay. Okay. Time to hit the hay. We’ve got a big day ahead.

singco

It's been a while.



Yeah. It's been days since I last surfed the internet. One obvious reason is that, I currently have no internet connection so I can't surf the net or blog at all. So, thank the school because they provide free internet for their students. With this free internet at hand, I now have the opportunity to surf the net again.

 Facebook was rather boring. For a FOREVER ALONE LVL 20 guy like me, we expect that the notification will just be few. For that almost one week without internet, I only had 12 notifications. HAhaha. Guess what, 78% are notifications with me not entirely connected with it, or just random people asking for requests. Yeah. I accept that.

Twitter was also boring. When was the freaking time when twitter became so alive?! Hahaha.

Youtube. I was surprised with the site. My eyes grew wide with the new look of YouTube. It's like, it's already harder to manipulate or browse at YouTube now. It's more stuffed, with less videos on screen. I had a hard time laughing. It's more like Yahoo! already than YouTube.  There are tabs which say, "Comedy," and, "Music," and other stuff. I kinda miss the old YouTube. But, they won't bring that back, ever. 

Argh. Whatever. You're actually boring December 5, 2011. Let's move on with the dates! :D

Hooted Up.

I was fourth year high school then. It was a boring weekend afternoon. I haven’t checked if I had any homeworks that time, nor projects nor any requirements. I was only watching television. Being a music fan myself, I would always tune in to Myx, the Music Channel in our country, or MTV Philippines. Well, I don’t know what else to watch – Disney Channel maybe or Star Movies. I don’t know. I don’t watch local shows.

November 30, 2011

So I've heard that today's the day of one of our national heroes. It is the day when we are supposedly honor the courage and the contributions of this person to the lives of the Filipinos. But, as if nothing happened. I woke up late in the morning still sick. There were no classes because it's supposedly a holiday. Moments went on and it turned out to be a normal, boring holiday. Just watching television and surfing the net all day.

The night went on, watched the news, but turned out, no Andres Bonifacio Day news on the headlines. There were news on deaths, crimes, awards, and rallies, but no honoring for him. There were nonsense showbiz news, endless commercials, useless countdowns, but no sign. Is it me or is he forgotten already?

Going back to my history, Andres Bonifacio was one of the heroes who is found in our money. But much more than that, he sparked the swords of the Filipinos during the Spanish regime in the Philippines when our national hero was in jail. He led in the formation of the most famous war group in the Philippines. He initiated the tearing of the cedulas which symbolizes the Filipinos' rage against the Spaniards. He fought many battles, but he lost to all. But, this paved way to other battles around the Philippines during those times.

Unlike many heroes who died as martyrs, he died differently. He was executed by fellow Filipinos themselves for he and his brother allegedly did something. I cannot remember that anymore. Sadly, the leader during those times were his former friend.

Many might considered him to be the national hero more than Rizal. I do say Bonifacio has done quite many things that stirred our history, but I just don't know if he is really fit to take that title. I may not give the right reasons why. But, I think his title now is fitting to him more, "The Father of the Philippine Revolution."

So this post is not just a reminder that November 30 is Andres Bonifacio's day, or the day that we have no classes, or the day that Sec. Butch Abad said that Elena Bautista-Horn needs a psychiatrist. This is a post that would remind us that Andres Bonifacio is not just a man of courage, but a person that would linger in our midst forever and ever.

Wait.

I am not quite really sure if Filipinos know that today is his day. I'm not quite sure if my sister knows why today is a vacation day. I'm not sure if the people parting on the clubs know that today is his day. Well, honestly speaking, I never knew that today is his day until just a while ago when I received a text relating to Bonifacio. People like me really needs to master these dates already. It's more than a day without classes, you know.

As what my grandmother says, and I conclude,

"Andres Bonifacio, a tapang a tao.
a putol a kamay, hindi aatras.
a putol a paa, hindi tatakbo."


Good night everyone. Goodbye November.

Colds

I've got colds and I hate it. That's all.

Clocks

Just a short note.


No one is useless. Never say you are one. Even in your deepest and darkest despair. Look at the clock without any batteries. All its hands are still in place. There might be no energy to support its life, but hey, it still gives you the exact time twice a day. Everybody has a reason to live. Never say you're useless.

I bid you farewell. Goodnight.

Dear God -- The Post Conference

11 awards.

10 trophies.

4 medals.

Countless certificates.

Countless photos.

Countless memories.

November 23-25, 2011, I’ll never forget you. My time was spent with much fun, much wit, much sweat, and laughs. Of course, that was not the main reason for me going there, but, those will be the things I will remember as I age.

In this post, I will include Dear God, a segment which I’m talking to God.

Dear God. Thank You for all the blessings that You have showered for us. Imagine, all of us garnered at least one award with four going to the next level, and Lord God, we were able to beat other schools and placed 8^th over-all!! Whoa. It’s something I’m proud off. Two were first timers, and they’re going to the next level, our chief goes too, and me, even though I only had one award, I’m going too, and that is one thing I’m going to prioritize. It’s not my forte, but I’m going to practice it. My parents’ money paid off. Nobody went home empty-handed.

Thank You also for giving me the very good company. I enjoyed it better than any other press conference that I had since Grade School. We became brothers and sisters who were sleeping together, playing together, singing together, being CSI agents together, and traveling together. I mean, for that merely 2 days of being together as a group, it felt like a month or two. It was more than a contest for me. Thank You God.

Room 316. I’ll never forget this room. A very mysterious, cryptic, mystifying room which left all of us astounded. I’m making a fictional story about that incident which happened. I may be deviating from the original story, but hey, I want to make it creepier. Haha. Imagine, a room with the sound of the television. We were knocking and shouting, but no one dared to open. Due to this, the managers and some security guards came and confronted us because they were guests. Haha. Total humiliation.

To the LHEPC! Okay, so we need Php40,000 so that we could go to the contest. Hoping to God we can gather that amount.

November 23-25, 2011, I'll never forget you.

11 awards.

10 trophies.

4 medals.

Countless certificates.

Countless photos.

Countless memories.

Dear God

It's already done. I'm through with all the contests. However, I am not that sure if I will accomplish that much. My mind is not sure but my heart says I did win on all of my contests. My heart says You guided me through all my contests.

Also, I want to payback that large amount of money my parents gave to me just so we could get here. I don't want to waste that money away. God. Whatever the results of these events which we will know tomorrow, I offer everything to You. I love You and in You alone my Hope is found.

God, please also guide my fellow schoolmates who competed in their respective contests. I know it's over but if there is still a way, please. I know we could do this with You,God.

Please also guide as our school paper reaches the top. You know a lot that it was a product of countless sweat and blood and tears.

In the end, whatever happens, never forget that I will always love You no matter what, God.

An Attempt

You do make me still,

So lofty I turn into

I'm going febrile

There's nothing I can do.

But if you will

you encompass me too

you will make me feel

the fondness of you.

*****

you reach out your hand

to the long train you'll go

with nothing but the band

you move to and fro

but when you understand

if it goes out to you

you will get my wand

and forever you'll go.

*****

the leaves twirled inside my mind

the moments do leave behind

i want to forget but I simply cannot

i want to freeze but I would just rot.

you'll go here, you'll go there

but will your promises last forever?

*****

you're like da vinci's art
the curves, the lines, so perfectly made
at first sight, you caught my heart
don't let this moment to fade.

*****

i mimic the trees
you copy the monkeys
you hide on the leaves
i firmly stood still.
you taste all the fruits
while I do recruit
we enjoy the moment
i firmly stood still
you chew nothing, you said
I'm gladly benefited
we'll take part now,
i firmly stood still.

Why Must We Fall?

It was a while since I've visited Adam's blog. And now that I saw it again, I was welcomed into another planet again. In an instant, some 50s music came into my ears and I felt so relaxed. Then, a voice was heard by me. He was telling a tale! I looked at a related post and saw the post, "Why Must we Fall?" There, I saw the lovely tale of two leaves talking. I felt different while listening to the story and reading it all at the same time. I mean, the story is very very, ugh, I can't explain it.

Sigh.

Check out the story here. The blog is at www.owlcityblog.com.

Some Random Thoughts for Today.

I have mustered to my mind some thoughts. Today was a boring day but I have in mind these thoughts which were lingering for about days already. They are different thoughts, probably no connection to each other. Most, if not all, are serious random thoughts, not those silly ones.

11.11.11

It was the 11th day of the 11th month the 11th year of the 2nd millennium. Some things happened this day, some things extra ordinary, some things useless, somethings memorable, some things epic fail.

I saw four cute kittens inside a cabinet in our laboratory. I was deeply moved by their pitiful blue eyes and their soft meows. Their mother can't be found. Trapped inside the cabinet, they must not have eaten for days. These cats were able to walk for the first time considering their feeble feet. They meowed a lot. They were hungry, I thought, but I could not do anything. As much as I wanted to adopt them, I can't. I already have Max and Michelle with us. What more if I add four. Then, our house would be a stinking disaster. I let a classmate of mine adopt two. I'm not quite sure if she did it. Gosh. Where might be their mother? What will happen to them? It's not good to see little kittens die. Such disgrace.

So today, we had our show choir contest today. It was nothing special I suppose because we just had our practice for about less than twenty-four hours (divided into four days - 1 hour for the first day, 2 hours for the second day, 3 hours for the third day, and 8 hours for the fourth day - approximately 11 hours). I was when we competed that our group was only the one which did a real show choir (like Glee). I mean, Mamma Mia! the others had overly produced props and a dozen of costumes changes. Their dances were very extreme and their songs -- not really show choir type. Well, we lost the competition but hey, we struggled a lot. It was my first time to be in a show choir wherein you sing and you dance. But what really let us struggle was, we forgot some of the lyrics. Haha. Unlucky us. We did not reach the top or even the 2nd top, however, take note, it was the Grand Finals. I know I was just a replacement but that was something to be proud of for a lifetime. Yehp. I now know how Finn and the rest of the New Directions fill when they first joined the sectionals.

What else is memorable this day?

Silence sat beside me again a while ago. While the rest of the group was busy putting make-up (I don't like them placing make-ups. I find it irritating.), I was outside the room, in a dark corridor I sat in solitude, as Silence talked to me. The room was noisy, but I never felt Noise since I was out of the room. The sky was starry as Silence and I had our conversation. It was a pretty solitary sight. "You're very quiet," said a companion of mine when she went out of the room. I just smiled. As much as I want to reply to her, Silence forbade me to. The sky was very beautiful that I want to look at it forever. Silence just smiled at me as we both gazed at the night sky. Silence left me when it was the time for us to leave for the competition. That was  another time when we met. It was a long time since we last met.

So much for 11.11.11. I know, we will never meet again. Goodbye.

With Quality comes Great Price.

The Title says it all. If someone wants to have a flat screen LED television, he should pay a great amount of money. However, if he is only after a television, okay, he can buy the cheap one. When joining a Quiz Bee, if you want to be win, produce a quality result and review very well. But if you join just in case of compliance, well then, do not review at all. It's just for compliance anyways. If you want people to read your school paper, then produce a quality paper by putting efforts to it no matter how much it costs. But if you want a school paper for the sake of producing two issues, then fine, turn it to its black-and-whitiest and to its cheapest look like nobody cares and like it's not to be seen by anyone. It's just that simple. With Quality comes Great Price.

Leader

So I have encountered a Facebook page asking students to define what Leadership is. I planned to post there, but, my post would be too long that I diverted here where I can write as long as I could. So here it goes.

Leadership is not really taught. It is innate. It comes from inside. It is learned through experience. Someone does not need to attend a leadership class to know. It just needs to be improved. Being a leader myself, I still got a lot of things to do, to improve. I know that I am still this lazy little lad who would rather stay at home and watch tv than to work until late late at night just to finish a back drop. In our case, we are not fully-pledged leaders already. We already are janitors, artists, dancers, and performers. I don't know but leaders are not servants at all times! Leaders also need to assign other people to do this and that sometimes. They need to meet the whole body and plan and assign jobs to ease the burdens. Leaders must not do everything and then be mad at their subordinates for being lazy. I know what their subordinates would say, "We were not told. We do not know. He did not assign anything." As the leader of the group, he should know it all - at least, plotted them on a piece of paper with the help of others.

I understand that leadership does not need intelligence but it needs initiative. I may say that I am a leader but I am not a responsible one. I fail. I break down. I am not good. But a prayer would always lift me up. Guidance from my Leader would lift me up to another day of stress and commands.

When this school year ends, I would be a normal student again. Free from any responsibility. How I wish that I would be like that. Even for just one semester.

But it seems it is really innate in me. I don't want to brag here but each time there is a group work, I always start the brainstorming. I always call for the members and we plan out things. In the end, I am tasked as the leader. I laugh at myself when I look back a these times. Especially in High School.

So much for leaders.

I'll try to go upward to the higher leaders, but that would be another post. But let me end this post with a quote that I've recited during my campaign when I was in 3rd grade. I can't remember the person who said it, but I have remembered this line already, "Leadership cannot really be taught. It can only be learned."

Todos los Santos

As I lit that candle, I said a short prayer asking God to grant the all the souls rest in peace and be finally be with Him in paradise. It’s a practice we Filipino Catholics when November strikes its first and second. We often go to the cemetery and offer prayers to all the dead relatives. We light candles and give the flowers. And as a Filipino tradition, we leave food to the grave of our relatives.

Only Catholics believe in purgatory, and that is the reason why we pray for the dead. We pray for their souls to journey safely to heaven and be with God forever. And we are not selfish enough to pray only for the people we know. We pray for all the souls, even those who are forgotten. And that is the reason why All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day are born. Now this is something I’m really proud of being a Catholic.

This is also a moment when families get together…in front of their relative’s grave. They offer prayers together, stay for a while, eat together, laugh together and do pretty much like any family reunions do. In our case, we were reminiscing what our dead relatives’ were and how they were when they were still alive. Our younger relatives might not met them.

It’s a very momentous event. In our case, we stay up to 8pm and some might even stay until 10pm or even later! That’s how we love our relatives. We know they are dead but, we know they’re souls are still alive. We talk to them at times and offer them food.  That’s different!

Overall, this is not a time when fake ghouls and costumes roam around but a time when we pay respect to the people who have gone ahead of us. 

5 Months of Frivolous Thoughts

It's official. I am blogging for 5 months already. Time flew so fast. I mean really. I can remember the first night that I blogged. It was raining and all I was thinking of was about blogging only. MY clumsy fingers were ready to write about anything, and now, I am on my 73th post. Imagine that. I can still remember those times when I had no internet connection but these thoughts of mine are already bursting. So, I grab a NotePad or a Microsoft Word and I would write what I had in mind: from happy thoughts, sad thoughts, or just plain random thoughts. I would never mind if I had grammatically wrong statements. I would never mind if no one reads this blogs of mine. After all, the primary reason of making my blog is so that I can express myself the way which I can't express when talking. I mean, who would like to listen to nonsense thoughts about life? Who would like to listen about Silence? Who would like to listen about Reasons? No one, I should say. Unless they are non-living organisms. The second reason why I blogged is that, like what I said in my first post, I was inspired by two bloggers, a news reporter and a singer. The news reporter posts about anything that happens in his life -- work, love, anything -- but doesn't blog that much anymore (his last post was actually, April), and the singer posts very professional. So, I fused those two together, and alas! My blog is born. 

I can see, most of my posts are actually serious, which is going away from my title, Frivolous Thoughts. Yes, I'm a serious guy. Though I often laugh at superficial things, I still am very serious when it comes to matter regarding the world in my viewpoint. Though I try to deviate away from seriousness, it just keeps going back to me. Well, let's just face the fact that not all the time, I am happy and I would write about any frivolous thoughts. But hey, these are just some of my frivolous thoughts.

As of now, I have two segments in my blog: Dear God, and Love is. Dear God is all about my conversations with God. And Love is all about my thoughts about love.

I am already reviewing shows and movies I have watched so far. Looking back at those things, I conclude that I am not a good reviewer, and that I really don't know how to review. So, this might be a good place to hasten up my reviewing skills.

I am also posting some of the songs, poems and stories I write. Yeah. Most are nonsense. But, hey, it's my blog anyway. No messing around by other people.

Just a background. I got the line, "Among my Frivolous Thoughts," from Owl City's song, "Angels," from his fourth album, "All Things Bright and Beautiful." I got Euphoria from Enrique Iglesias' album, and Dysphoria from the dictionary which is actually the antonym of Euphoria. Whatever? Okay. You get what I mean.

Yeah. Still more to come. :D

Dear God

So I learned about the news. Maybe it's too late to post this here but I know I've already said this to You many times when I talk to You at night. I made it God! We made it. I got the grade that I was longing for. I got positive news all over my head, and now, all I'm thinking of is how to thank You Lord for this thing. I am in a state called Euphoria. God, I really really love You. 

Now a bigger challenge is ahead of me, God. I need this thing to be perfect. We can do this together God. In You alone my Hope is Found. You are my light, my strength, my song. I love You God.

Are You Lonesome Tonight

I have always been a fan of old music. I have always idolized those of Frank Sinatra, Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, and Dolly Parton. There is something in their voices which many modern artists lack. It’s more of emotionally singing from deep inside their hearts that makes me fall in love with their voices. It’s the emotion of the song that makes me listen to them more. Of course I also am a fan of some modern artists (especially to Owl City and Coldplay), but there is still something different from those of the oldies.

I appreciate the people who cover the old songs but they give justice to it. Michael Buble is one. He covers many old songs but he never changes the genre. He sticks to the old ones. I have recently watched the show, The Glee Project and many of them cover songs and give rightful justice to the songs they cover. One song which I really idolized is the song Are You Lonesome Tonight sung by many artists like Frank Sinatra but in the show, was sung by Damian McGinty. He really sang it very well and good. For that short span of time, you can really feel his emotions running deep. Another song is Baby, It’s Cold Outside sung by many artists including Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Jordan, but sung in the competition by Cameron Mitchell and Lindsay Pearce. The song was very witty and happy, and they did not destroy it. They performed it well that the one minute span allotted for them was not enough for me. I crave for the whole song to be sung from them. There are also many songs from the competition which they gave justice. There are also many singers who perform these smash hits that I give them 5 stars for a job well done. Yes. Old music is not dead.

While there are people who try their best to keep this music perfect, there are some singers who destroy the perfect songs from the past. I don’t know why they do it, maybe for popularity? In the music section of the show business, some singers cover songs but they completely destroy the song, but still, people dig it. I don’t know why. Some would say that these covers are better than the original. WHAT?! I know. How did they destroy it? They put some inappropriate beats and runs, they sing over, and etcetera.

I know, I listen to Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars and the like, but I tell you, no one can deny the fact that Andy Williams, John Lennon, Frank Sinatra, and the like are mesmerizing and will live on forever! Cheers to the Music Industry.

And ohh, for my love of oldies, and Cameron Mitchell's influence, I'm learning to play Black Bird by Beatles now! :D

Vulnerability

I just watched an episode of the Glee Project. It's entitled Vulnerability and its purpose is to bring out to the world what is vulnerable to the contestants and they need to wear it proudly. 

I have been a fan of the show since I first saw it on TV, and favorites developed. Two girls and two guys became my favorites on the show, although all of them were damn amazing. Marissa von Bleicken and Lindsay Pearce, and Cameron Mitchell and Damian McGinty. They are very good singers especially Cameron. I want his singing voice to be mine! LOL.

Going back, their third episode was about Vulnerability. Singing Mad World by Gary Jules, they all stripped down their over-the-top voices and went low while hanging in them are signs with their vulnerable words in them.  To name a few, Marissa used the word anorexic, Lindsay used the word fake, Cameron used the word misunderstood, and Damian used the word numb.

I was like engrossed so much with the music video that I came to realize my vulnerability as well. While watching these people break into tears while confessing these things, little drops of water also flow down from my eyes. I can relate. I also have mine. I am always this guy who us always left behind in any way. I am always this guy who's alone, who is left out, who has no friends, who is numb in relationships, who is misunderstood by many to be happy but really not, or fake (I'm not anorexic, tell you.). I am this I-always-want-company-but-I-simply-cannot-find-them-because-they-cannot-understand-me kind of guy so in the end, I feel alone. The word I'm going to write is INTROVERT. Yes, I am an introvert. I would just be alone and spend my time with Music than to be with persons who does not need my time much. I am an outward person, but, I feel more at home when I am at home with my self. Yes, I am an Introvert. That's my vulnerable word. That would be my greatest problem when I grow up. Who will I be with? Who will I hang out with? I'll just leave it all to God and myself. We will figure out a way.

Intricacies

Today was a very magical day. It was the first time I entered into that Church and I was like wonderstruck. The intricate designs, the cross-shaped structure, the big dome, everything was very magical to my eyes. It was beautiful! No words could ever describe that Church we went. Well, the Church is found at a town which usually takes a 2-hour ride from where we live. We're from the same province, though. But still, I'm wonderstrucked. The painting were all beautifully designed. They were intricately painted. Wait, did I say intricate again? LOL. Never mind. I only have one random thought. St. Lucy, their patron saint, is a known martyr for getting her eyes off. However, among all the images of her which I saw, she was holding a plate with her two eyes (accepted) but she has another pair of eyes in her. Whoa. Is this blasphemy?  I guess not. Does that mean St. Lucy has four eyes? God, I'm sorry for this statement. Just stating the obvious. But still, I had a very good stay in that House of God. We celebrated Mass there celebrated by a foreign priest. It was actually my first time to attend mass with a foreign priest. His homily was very good! I actually listened all through out. How I wish that he is like some of our local priests. He goes straight to the point in explaining the Gospel. It's very good!

After that, a very sumptuous lunch was served wherein, honestly, I ate a lot! It was very delicious, and I have to thank the nuns for preparing those.

Overall, it was such a marvelous day. Thanks all to God!

Reasons

People tend to give endless reasons. We tend to give reasons to the point that they are already obvious fakes, impossible, awkward, or whatever adjective you can tell. People give reasons for various reasons. Maybe we did something wrong, made a wrong decision, or probably we forget something, or we are just lazy to do it so we give reasons.

Reasons delay a job, like if you're working for a deadline, but when someone does not do her job and just makes a reason so that she might be safe like for example, she's on duty, or the other people are not contacting her. You call that excused? Probably. But here's the catch. You see her at school hanging out with her friends. You receive her text messages telling that she's roaming a school with her boy friend. You chat with her best friend saying that they are both watching a show. Is she excused? Nope. Not at all. Hypothetical conclusion to that, she's plain lazy to do it and just plain stupid to act like it's just nothing important. But, don't mind it. After all, those reasons might jeopardize her in the future.

Reasons bring burden to other people's lives, because reasons only focus to own desires. He leaves a group of strangers in a hall while he's there on another group, practicing his songs -- for his group. Hello?! He is the head of the group and he'll leave them like that? He might reason out, he's busy doing this and that, but he's still the head, and he might start leading them first before focusing on his own things. He was given that task anyway, so he must prove that he got what it takes.

Reasons kill one's reputation and integrity. He gives an impossible reason for being caught having kodigos (a kodigo is something [eg, paper] where the answers are found. This is where keywords are found and are pretty used by cheaters.). He says that he wrote those just after the test papers were given, but, seeing the kodigo, we can already see many things written in there. How improbable was that reason? Now, he must face the consequences of cheating. He's got good intentions -- to be the best in class. But the means of doing that is just plain wrong, and the reasons for doing those, let's ask him.

I don't mean to hurt people here. My reason is that, I just want to tell the whole world the wrong side of reasons. Let this be constructive criticisms to those I openly attacked here. No harm done. But let these serve as challenge to, at least, improve your reasons for the future. Or maybe, just do their jobs correctly, or even better -- tell the true reason behind it. Or even better, do the right thing. It will be for your own good after all if you do this. No more bushing around.

There are also good things about reasons – if we give the true reasons.

Reasons like when we broke something, like for example, a glass. At first we might deny we did it. But, after a while, we may tell the truth and tell the reason why we broke it. We may say, “I did it accidentally because I was cleaning the house. I suddenly broke it.” Or we might say, “I broke it because I was so furious. I was not able to control my anger.” At least, we told the truth, didn’t we?

Or we give reasons when in class. Like when the teacher says, “Why are we not flying?” We proudly say, “because of the gravity of the Earth.” That’s good reasoning there!

In the end, Reasons has two faces, the good one and the bad one. Still, it’s up to us to give reasons behind something. As an adage goes, “there’s a reason for everything.” There’s a reason why you’re here. There’s a reason why the sky is blue. There’s a reason behind this and that. The only thing left is to tell the real reason or not, or just use reasons to make alibis.

Let me conclude this post with a song by Rico Blanco entitled Antukin (literal translation: Sleepy. LOL):

"Kung ayaw may dahilan, kung gusto parating merong paraan."

(If you don't like, there's always a reason. If you like, there's always a way)

Sila Na. (Filipino Translation.)

Tanggapin natin. Madami akong pagkukulang. Madalas akong naiinggit sa mga bagay na wala sa akin. Upang ito'y malutas, papasok na lang ako sa aking pribadong eroplano at lumipad papalayo sa planetang ito.

Sila na!

Sila na ang pogi. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang palakaibigan. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang madaming pera. Ako na ang wala.
Sila na ang mahilig sa isports. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang may mataas at mababang boses. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang magaling magsulat. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang matangkad. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang payat. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang may syota. Ako na ang wala.
Sila na ang nakabibili ng kahit anong gusto nila. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang makagagawa ng kung anong gusto nila. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang may malawak na imahinasyon. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang makapupunta kung saan nila gusto. Ako na ang hindi.
Sila na ang may makinis na mukha. Ako na ang wala.

Sila na ang perpekto. Ako na ang hindi.

Ngunit sa likod ng mga pagkukulang na ito ay isang sipi mula sa isang tao. Minsang niyang nasabi na tinitignan natin ang ating pagkukulang dahil kinukumpara natin ang ating mga sarili sa ibang tao. Halata naman iyon. Subalit ako'y naniniwala na ako ay nasa tamang landas at isinilang akong ganito, madami paring pagkukulang na bago araw-araw.

Ngunit ako ay nagpapasalamat sa Panginoon sa mga bagay na meron ako na wala sa iba. Hindi ako makasarili. Yan ang paraan kung paano hinati ng Panginoon ang Kanyang mga biyaya.

___________

Yeah. This is the first Filipino post. It's actually just a translation from the past post. I believe that translating it in Filipino would make the statements more emphatic than in English. Well, so much for a start. :D

They Already.

Let's face it. I have many insecurities in life. I often get envy about things people have that I don't really have. In order to solve this, I would just sneak into my private jet and fly away from this planet.

They Already!

They are handsome. I am not.
They are sociable. I am not.
They have money. I don't have.
They play a lot of sports. I do not.
They sing quite high and low. I do not.
They write very good. I do not.
They are tall. I am not.
They are slim. I am not.
They have girlfriends. I don't have.
They can buy whatever they want. I cannot.
They just sit back and do pretty much whatever they want. I cannot.
They have a wide array of ideas. I don't have.
They can go wherever they want. I cannot.
They have clean faces. I don't have.

They are perfect. I am not.

However, behind these insecurities is a quotation from a person. She once said that people are insecure because they compare themselves to others. That is an obvious one. Though I believe that I'm on the right track and I was born this way, there are still insecurities arising everyday.

But, I would thank God that I have some things that others do not have. That's not being selfish. That's how God divided His blessings.

Dear God

I am still swelling. I still don't know what to do God. Each day when I wake up, I wished that I returned to October 5, 2011. That was day before all of it happened. I lost focus. I lost mind-set. I lost my notes. That's why I got those. But, it was not entirely my fault God. I do blame myself, but not 100%. I don't want to speak more for this is a public site but God, You know my thoughts. Please enlighten each of our minds so that we can make things right. Please help us discern to the right path to go, and the right thing to give. And this might sound very surreal and impossible. But, please God. Please rewind the time, so that I could make things right again. May they give me the ting that I'm hoping. I don't have a face to show anymore God if this does not happen. I might disappear like an extinct species. God. Please. I love You.

I can barely breathe right now. My emotions are flowing intensely. And my chest is heavy. I smile but I'm thinking of that thing that might destroy me for good. In You alone God, my hope is found. :D